Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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