i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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