He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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