All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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