Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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