Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
