if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
