how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Everyone says I win the strip club
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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