I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
