He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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