ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
