I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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