it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
