can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think i have herpe
just one?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
