hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
