do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
