Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
they're like a gay fantastic four
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
