You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
