FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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