She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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