Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize