4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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