Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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