question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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