google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
