I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize