I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
