My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Sorry my hands just texted you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
