Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
