Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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