Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Randomize