doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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