garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
