i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
