Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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