There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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