so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
