the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
