i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
