But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
