bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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