i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
