so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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