Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize