A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
