Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
