I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
