btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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