You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
