You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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