so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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