If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize