did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
