I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
