i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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