well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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