I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
