this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
