"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
