Where is the hickey?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
