I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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