He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm passing your future prison.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
