ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
