He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
